Father's Day

I'm not looking forward to this weekend. As a matter of fact I hope it passes quickly. It's hard to enjoy a holiday when you have just lost the person you used to celebrate at this time every year. I still have my poppaw, Tony's dad and a handful of great uncles. So I'm trying to focus on them. But it's hard. With every mention of Father's Day there comes a sadness. It's hard to describe.


I keep having to remind myself that he's gone. I've talked to Mom about it and she feels the same way. I keep going back over things in my memory and asking myself...did all of that really happen? Is Daddy really gone?

Over the Memorial Day holiday Tony and I went up to his parents' place at Spring River. That area holds a lot of memories for me as my family has spent a lot of time up at Many Islands. As drove down thru Hardy it hit me again. It was so unexpected and it was hard for me not to get emotional. I didn't say anything to Tony but I was fighting back tears as we drove down the highway. Crazy isn't it?

Then that Sunday, the lady who does all of the floral arrangements and decorations for the church asked Mom to bring in some pictures of Daddy and some of his awards. They made a little memorial for him in the foyer. It was really sweet. In the back are Dad's Fireman of the Year award, his Ordination Certificate and award that the band boosters gave him when I graduated high school. The pictures are his National Guard photo and the picture of him that we used on his obit. I hope Daddy would've like it. He probably would've been embarrassed that we made such a fuss.


I really wish that I could know what he thought of all the people that showed up for his visitation and funeral. It. Was. Unbelievable. There were so many people that came and sent food and sent flowers and cards. I wish he could have been there to enjoy it.